2014
"I wander, only to find myself at the start again"
It has been a year since the last celebration involving a new years' welcome. I had a strange 2013. Never in control of myself. It signified going with the flow like no other.
To conquer 2014, I set myself a strategy to embrace this philosophy even further. I had no solid footing to enter the year. Not in any aspect I could think of. To shrug off a supposedly bad 2013, I took a reluctant vacation to the Philippines at the close of the year, hoping to find method to the madness.
The vacation worked in a way. I found myself travelling like a bag-packer. The quirk about bag pack travel is simple: it levels the playing field. Your background, work, societal status and the likes are respectfully placed aside. What matters is your approach to conquer the unknown; the creative ways to find joy in simply being. The fact that we had to plan every single day and thereafter spend countless hours on how it all turned out was liberating from the usual drag of life.
January 2014 was a breeze. Low on responsibility. High on travel. I found myself exploring the rural areas of U.P & Rajasthan. A potpourri of 15 businessmen were dealt with, while attempting to understand how the rural mindset works. ( if it all, it works differently). Distanced from the western world & engrossed in petty rivalries and the fear of losing what they had, I couldn't help but wonder how different this world is. They had built small enterprise over the years, with a burning desire to show their work to the outsider. In parallel, a brief trip to Jaipur, which comprised of Dhaba food and palaces were dutifully cherished. It felt good to be back home as well.
Come February, the world changed a bit. Now, Chennai appears harder to explain to the outside world but I was frankly, okay. I was itching to get away from home. Kolkata beckoned for a friend's marriage. Now, I have never had so much fun as I had in those 3 days. I became sentimental in the end. The first two weeks in Chennai were left to understand what I was getting into. A planning meet in Mumbai confirmed my suspicion. This was messy. And I did not know if solving this mess was important to my life. Welcome to Retail sales.
March was a struggle. I had stupidly agreed to go along with my boss, which turned out to be a bad bad decision. The go-with-the-flow philosophy wasn't working at all. I struggled to figure work and life. Just to avoid being carried away, I made new friends, and played cards over the weekend. And drove cars in-spite of losing my license. The idea of seeing the funny in everything helped me stay alive.
Come April, and the pressure on me to perform increased. I was working harder than ever. Weekends included. I enjoyed being hard on my team, asking them to reciprocate my efforts. Itching to do something different again, I indulged myself to Scuba diving at Pondicherry for a good three days. It was the first weekend I had spent not working and allowed me to re-focus myself. My work performance though, was still questionable. On a happier note, a certain Madras coffee house was added to the list of discoveries along with the other wonders of Tamil Nadu. Not to mention, a quick trip to home involving a trip to Jaipur again was a wonderful break.
May was a far far better month. Work wise. I was gaining ground back again and felt happier again. The shock factor was wearing off. I still loved spending Saturday afternoons at office, pulling up excel sheets and making plans for the following week, and watching the Chettinadu sun go down into the Indian ocean. Meanwhile, countless conversations with a set of new friends was a staple diet. No trips to Bangalore yet. None to South east Asia either. No Kerala in picture. Was this going to be a travel-less year? The only silver lining was the fact that I now knew every single pub in Chennai and had occasionally found good company as well.
It was Dad's birthday in June. Parents were already dissatisfied with my presence in a city which was as far as Dubai is to Delhi. Screams to head back to Delhi were growing by the decibel. On another note, South Indian fine dining was discovered as certain friend flew down on a market visit pretext. Night life in Chennai took a new meaning as we forayed to doing an environmental walk across Chennai beaches in hunt for Sea turtles. On a professional note, Boss bitching reached a whole new level as it now encompassed 36% of our conversations as every topic seemed to come back to that. A CEO dinner just added fuel to fire as the percentage reached an all time high of 51. Monopoly the board game was re-discovered again with the thrill of bankrupting competition was deemed to be more satisfying than picking up a girl in a bar. The quarter was ended with a breakfast at Chamiers cafe with an odd discussion on reading people.
July was when I decided to finally pay a long overdue visit to Bangalore. The visit was special for strong reasons. Meeting a school friend after ages is a strong walk down memory lane. Saturday night was when my energy levels reached an all time high for 2014. The venue was Vapor- a popular night club. A few pegs were downed and it was time to set the stage on fire with dance moves bordering on the flamboyant side. The rest of the month was uneventful barring a few efforts made during the early days starting to pay off.
I think August was when the scales tipped. Thoughts of taking up an opportunity to move outside India started to dominate. It was still unclear how it would happen. The month of festivities allowed me for a quick visit to Hyderabad meeting an old colleague. 2 quick weeks of running to the embassy and it was clear that a quick escape was the need of the hour. Co-meth the hour, I politely closed books with my first ever employer in order to seek another corporation interested in my potential.
September appropriately started with Teachers day as I felt gratitude as I prepared to say goodbye to parents / colleagues / friends who taught me a lot. Meanwhile, the pressure cooker had been released. I focused on enjoying this god gifted duration called "notice period" as trips to Bangalore were lined up again. A twinge of nostalgia gripped me as well. My first ever Comic-con visit resulted in shopping expenses surpassing a dear female friend. Spicy Andhra food was relished at frequent intervals almost as if I wanted the taste to remain. Mysore Pak was inducted into the Hall of Fame on the desserts section. A customary Chennai Diaries comprising spontaneous clicks were posted as the chapter neared an end.
Gandhi Jayanti seemed an appropriate time to quit India. But the same was delayed by a week to incorporate family time. Quick visits to relatives and a cycle tour of a Bird sanctuary was completed in a week as it was time to pack up. Dad wondered whether I was running away just to escape Chennai or a broader plan actually existed. October 10th and I felt like a prisoner escaping the Black waters. The jury is out on why I ever did felt that way! The rest of the month was spent on adjusting my vision to what I was seeing in the country of freedom.
November was marked with tens of rejects from 5 people startups to Multi-nationals as my aim became sharper. It was also a month of completing over 10 hikes to get in shape. I wondered whether I should be happy at being unemployed with freedom to virtually do what I wanted or be depressed in my misery. A friend suggested that neither of these feelings will last long. A first was to finish a 600 page book on US-Pak relations changing my perspective on conflicts. Also,a cover being featured on a beloved band's page made it a sweet November. An offer to my first ever employment began to take shape.The month ended with Thanksgiving as the over-sized Turkey was devoured to full by the Khaandaan. Meanwhile, the feeling of living with a family seeped in after a long hiatus!
The journey began with starting with a new place and ended in another as the transition from Chennai to California was completed in December. " Aaj jaane ki zidd naa karo" quickly became the song of the month as attempts were made to translate it on the guitar. It also symbolized the wonderful year this has been. An year filled with crests and troughs. A Skiing trip with family rightfully closed the year of new experiences with another as my escapades became the talk of the town.
As another year begins, I find myself imagining freedom from the shackles of the mind as possibilities to explore and discover begin to surface again.
Will this be an year of firsts? I certainly hope so!
